Tuesday, March 19, 2013

A gift from the Lord

Ps 34:1 I will bless The Lord at all times...

Yes, and even in these times of a new trial. Today was Lydia's appointment with the neurologist. She has had three seizures since January. Yesterday was her EEG, but, because her EEG was normal, we still aren't sure if she has epilepsy or if it is something completely benign. The doctor wants to collect more information before making a diagnosis, so more tests are in her future.

Is this a "here we go again" or a "no big deal"? We don't know. But we do know it is a "thing" and the Scriptures say "He works all things together for good to those who love God and to those who are the called according to His purpose." Because He said it, and we trust His word is true, we believe it. The  overwhelming feelings of "No, not again" or "please let this be nothing because I don't know if I can take more", still rise within me, but I make myself remember this promise is a fact. And when I believe it and abandon the "what if" thoughts, peace comes again. It's like I am walking as my three year old son, who takes my hand, going where he knows not but trusting without question it will be good because he knows I love him and would never harm him. If my son can trust me, a sinner and sometimes inconstant, how can I not trust a perfectly loving and never-changing God?

This is fruit from Luke's short life. God took what seemed unimaginably horrible and used it to teach us things we could learn no other way. Before I would have said that losing a child is one of the worst things that could ever happen, and my greatest fear was having a special needs child. But now I know the mechanics of how God turns these great tragedies into good. Romans 8:28 is not just a verse that sounds promising, but a real process with tangible benefits for our lives.

Here's more fruit. The other night as Lydia sat next to me on the couch, she turned and said, "I know why God is giving me these seizures." I asked, "Why?" She said, "Because He wants me to be closer to Him." Then she said,"I can't wait to be with Jesus." 

Now her understanding of God may not be perfect, but Lydia has become eternally-minded. She thinks not just of this world, but of the one to come. She had never thought so tangibly about what happens after death before we watched Luke transition from this life to the next. But now she sees being with Jesus as part of a continuum of her life in this world. It is like how she sees getting married one day — though it is so far away she knows it will happen and she looks forward to it. Without Luke, she would likely have been afraid of death. But now an eternal mindset sits in her heart as a gift from the Lord. She is seated in the heavenlies with Christ already as a seven year old! 

Oh that I would have such a perspective (at all times, not just the spiritually good days)! I am an eternal being — we all are — and this life is but a small and short part of that eternity. May we do as Jesus commands and set our hearts on things above and not on things of the earth. I'm convinced this command is not to torture us into giving up "the good life". No! He says this because He knows all our fears will fall away, and in their place will be the confidence of life lived in perfect fellowship with our loving Creator who originally meant there to be no sickness, pain or death when He first made this world. 

And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away. -Revelation 21:4

Let us live today as if it is done, because, if we are seated in the heavenlies with Christ, it is. (Ephesians 2:4-7)

Much, much love,



  1. Thank you for sharing, Natalie! Such precious truths Lydia is learning and sharing with the rest of us during this time. Very glad to hear those lessons and be reminded of those truths - thank you!

  2. WOW. Thank you so much for sharing this, Natalie!!! In my heart and prayers continuously...love, Lindsay